I have to fight hard to be able to look on the brighter side. There are many times in the past when I would just be paralyzed from a bad day. I wouldn’t be up to do anything for a few days. I would cry often and only saw the bad in every day. Years have passed and I am 25 now although I still have my moments my bounce back time is much quicker. Often times what kept me from optimism was fear. The fear of disastrous happening. ‘What if that?’ ‘What if this?’ ‘But that could go wrong.’ I was always expecting the worse. I let the fear of the future dictate everything about me.
After a few years I found myself turning to faith. I remember there was a point when I didn’t feel like I deserved to pray to God because I went so many years without doing so. I went years without praying for guidance or even giving thanks for what I had. I’m sure I’ve talked about this before but I find myself back here when I life gets tough again. My emotions get bottled up and I don’t know what to do. I want to cry but it’s difficult to cry. This is how I vent. This is part of my stress reliever.
“When life gets tough, the tough get going” It took me years to understand that saying, even longer to apply it to my own life. It’s always easier said than done because at the moment when you are dealing with problems it’s difficult to think straight. At that moment you are going off of emotion which 99% of the time is not a good idea. I am still working on thinking first and acting second.