A Letter to You

Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading my posts. I understand that I am terribly inconsistent. I know my posts and subjects are all over the place. I just thought I’d tell you that I appreciate the views, the likes, and comments. I have always love writing. I used to write short stories when I was young. I even remember winning a bronze award for a book I wrote in elementary school. *I wonder if they still have it* I’m not sure where the creativity and drive went. Maybe the trials and tribulations of my life consume me and I lost all motivation. Whenever I write (type) whatever you want to call it, I feel ecstatic. There is nothing more soothing and beautiful to me than writing. For a while I kept journals. Then with the rise of technology and social media I upgraded to Tumblr, WordPress, even MySpace. There is nothing I love more than a good pen and paper. Though I enjoy the creativity for web and design I get with social, the artwork of handwritten thoughts is therapeutic.
From the very bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to read my posts. Whether you can relate or not, I appreciate it.


The most expensive paper (That I didn’t own)

Last night I opened up my mailbox app and saw an email with the subject line “RE: Diploma Hold”. I opened it, of course. Read it. Then laughed and shook my head. Let’s rewind:
I graduated from college two years ago. I didn’t have a job lined up; I didn’t know what field I wanted to get into; I didn’t have a career lined up. During school I worked an average of 2-3 part-time jobs and did a couple of internships. I was struggling, hard, but I managed to get by. After walking the stage I still had a few courses to take to fulfill my degree unit requirements. So I was stressing about that. I also had no idea where I would or could apply to for a fulltime job. Number 2 of my stress. Then talk about bills piling up. It took me a little longer than 5 months to secure a job; which caused me to fall behind on a lot of my bills, including some student loans. It really became the decision between eating and paying a loan during some months. In the meantime I was still working retail, part-time, with terrible hours. After securing a better part-time job I quick my retail job and started to sign up for the last few units I needed to complete my degree. The only reason why I couldn’t start fulltime at my new job was because I didn’t technically have a 4-year degree yet. Thankfully, they let me work part-time and while I was taking courses online.
There I was a few months later. It’s taking much longer than I anticipated completing the courses, but I’m done! Finally! I submit my last assignment and finally felt accomplished again. I waited a few weeks, then a couple of months and I still haven’t seen my diploma. Then I email the registrar’s office. They emailed me back to tell me there seemed to be a hold on my account. They said I could log into my account and check out what the hold was. I do so. It was something along the lines of finances and gave me a number to call if I wished to do so.
Long story short after receiving that email last night after them telling me already why I couldn’t receive my diploma, I felt dispirited. I was literally living the expression “you’re paying for a piece of paper”. After putting in the hours, tears(literally), and work all those years. My diploma, which I earned, is being held hostage because to the university the small amount owed is much more important than rewarding my accomplishment. It’s disheartening. I tell my nephews and nieces often that college may not work out for everyone but give it a chance. Invest into your education because no one can take that away. Yet there I was, reading an email that made me sick to my stomach. That may sound a bit dramatic but seriously. As students(former students) we work and struggle to get this piece of paper that tells people that we are smart enough to work for (insert company). Then when we fall on hard times, institutions such as universities tell us that we can’t have that PIECE OF PAPER because they need more money.

It’s been a rough couple of days

These are the type of days I pray for more strength. I pray for courage. I pray for wisdom. These are also days I thank God a little more. 
I am learning to speak victory into my life instead of defeat. I shall not speak ill of my life. I shall not let negativity dictate my mood. I shall have faith. I will practice patience and trust in God. I know He does not bring me to something that I can’t get through. He will help me get through it, better, happier, and even more blessed. I am a child of God and I am highly favored. 

Sunday Fun Day

I post a lot of unhealthy good food. I typically never eat too bad. I don’t like to eat too much junk food, except chips (my weakness), or fast food. I enjoy simple dishes. I also love comfort food. I believe in eating in moderation. I eat healthy for the most part 1. Because eating healthy is tasty 2. I like to work out. If I don’t feed my body the right nutrients I won’t have too much energy for the gym.

Emilia is my biggest inspiration. I can’t to cook her healthy, nutritious, and delicious meals. If I want her to eat healthy I definitely need to set the example for her. 
Below you’ll see what I had for breakfast l, lunch, and dinner. In between I smacked on cherry tomatoes and drank lots of water. 

Mommy Kicks

With being a mommy I always look for cute comfy outfits that are quick to put on. Lately I’ve been into cute sneakers. I haven’t been back to my pre-pregnancy weight so my old jeans are too tight. But with the couple of new ones I bought, I love to wear them with cute comfy running shoes like these Nike Flyknit Racers. I like the all white with the black bottoms. Simple yet sticks out. I picked these up today and put them on right away. They are comfy and cute. Exactly what a mommy needs! 

What to wear

For a few years I’ve would tell myself ‘I’m going to upgrade my wardrobe’. Well that was my sophomore year in college and I’m 25 and have graduated now. I still haven’t really updated anything. I managed to donate most of my wearable clothing. Now I’m down to clothes that I can’t wear in public, either they are too small, outdated, or plain ugly. 

I still struggle to commit to shopping for clothes. I always end up buying food. I don’t have the patience to go shopping anymore. Especially with my body weight being what it is. I just feel insecure and tired of trying to find anything that will fit and look good on me. I hope other mommies can relate because this mommy is in desperate need of a new look! 

What’s for dinner? 

I love being a mommy and having a partner that wants to create a healthy lifestyle. Everything is about moderation. I don’t do any extreme “diets” nor do I starve myself. I eat what I like but make sure to pay attention to what I eat. I may indulge here and there but I never lose sight of my overall goal. Becoming a mother has motivated me to not only learning how to cook more meals but also learning how to cook Cambodian food. I want to be able to cook my cultures food for my children. I want to be able to pass along recipes to my children. I grew up eating Cambodian food and look forward to being able to feed my children all of the dishes I loved as a kid. I love food and I know my children will love food too, Emilia already does 😁